IMMORTAL DIALOGUE
And You Call Yourself a Scientist!
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from Unknown World (1951)

Layperson: But isn’t the inside of the Earth, the very core, a molten, fiery mass?
Geophysicist: To the contrary. The latest body of theory holds that the inside of a sphere, such as the Earth, is cooler than the temperature at the surface.

Expert: This is a cyclotram.
Layperson: A what?
Expert: It’s an amphibious conveyance based on the principles of ovoidal atmosphere.
Layperson: A what?!

Layperson: We know you mean well--
Indignant scientist: "Mean well"! Next you’ll be calling us starry-eyed idealists!

Layperson: Dr Lindsey, you’re out of order!
Indignant scientist: The whole world is out of order!
(Expletive deleted?)

Layperson 1: Nice friendly bunch, these scientists.
Layperson 2: Well, what’s your trouble?
Layperson 1: Oh, nothing, but don’t they ever talk?
Layperson 2: Not unless they’ve got something to say. That’s the way it is with clever people.
(Anyone who believes this should be at the Royal Hotel, Randwick, about 4.30 on a Friday afternoon.)

Angry scientist: I’m embarrassed for all of you who call yourself "scientist"! - swayed by a self- indulgent young fool!

Philosophical scientist: We can’t bury ourselves in the Earth and expect to live.

from Virtual Obsession (1997)

Wife: Honey, I’m so proud of you!
Scientist: You don’t think I came off too Big Brother, or something like that?
Wife: No, not at all! I think you looked very handsome on TV. You know, for a scientist.

Hysterical wife: How many of our neighbours keep their girlfriends’ heads in their freezer, Joe!?

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